


I Now Know Your Burden

by BrianneABanana



Category: RWBY
Genre: Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Atlas, Resurrected Clover, intense mostly non-sexual intimacy, the events of volume 7 chapter 12 all up in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:07:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27928762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrianneABanana/pseuds/BrianneABanana
Summary: It was the night after they had driven Salem away from Atlas, saving what was left of the kingdom and all of its people. It was also the first night that Qrow and Clover slept in the same bed.Over the days of helping rebuild Atlas, Qrow is practically connect to Clover's hip, which allows for some unfortunate observations.
Relationships: Qrow Branwen/Clover Ebi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	I Now Know Your Burden

**Author's Note:**

> As it says in the tags, this fic contains discussion, recollection, and a sort of re-enactment of the events of volume 7 chapter 12 through a nightmare. 
> 
> Please be safe, and enjoy!

The first night that Qrow and Clover slept in the same bed, they fell asleep immediately. It was the night after they had driven Salem away from Atlas, saving what was left of the kingdom and all of its people. 

He remembered clinging to Clover as much as possible that night. His partner had been brought back to life with the Staff of Creation, their reunion passionate and sorrowful. Both men had profusely apologized for their own hand in what happened, and while they needed so much more time to work through all of their complex feelings, saving the kingdom won out right then. 

They fought tooth and nail beside each other for hours after, as long as it took. Through hoards of grimm and their exhaustion, simply because they had each other.

Once the dangers of Salem had been removed from the kingdom, the entire populace breathed a sigh of relief. There was a collective agreement to take the night to recover. Rebuilding the kingdom and making sure everyone got back to a more normal life was put on hold until the heroes had rested.

Standing in front of the Academy, Qrow’s various wounds throbbed - bruising on his ribs from a hard landing, a gash on his left thigh from a grimm tusk, and many more little bumps and bruises - but all he felt now was a pit opening up in his stomach. He had come to the realization that everything was over. He didn’t have a reason to stay by Clover’s side. He… could accept if his partner wanted space, but he couldn’t let him go tonight without saying anything.

His voice betrayed his resignation. “Clover-”

“Stay the night with me, Qrow.”

_‘W-what??’_

He was shocked. Clover had grasped his hands in his and looked into his eyes with such a pleading expression. He almost couldn’t look at Clover, reminded of what his partner had looked like when he told him ‘ _he wanted to trust him too’_ ; What he looked like the moment before- 

Clover’s warm, _warm_ hand cupped his cheek.

“Qrow, are you ok?”

_‘Of course after all the shit we went through tonight, he was put through, he’s only worried about me.’_ Qrow thought. He must’ve stared out in thought for too long though, cuz Clover’s fierce gaze opened into trepidation. 

“Did… did I overstep?” Clover retracted his hand like Qrow had slapped it away. His eyes skirted around Qrow, looking everywhere but his own. “I know it’s selfish to ask you to… but I just can’t- I-I _need to_ …”

_If he didn’t look panicked, Qrow would’ve called his stammering cute_ . “Clover” he said sternly but gently, holding Clover’s hands like he had his, “you didn’t overstep. I was… _surprised,_ that you would ask me to stay with you. We still have so much left to figure out, so I thought that you would want space. I… didn’t think you’d want me like that, at least not until we cleared the air between us.”

Threading his fingers with Qrow’s, Clover showed him a shaky smile. There was still sadness in his eyes, however, as he replied, “I know, Qrow. Believe me when I say you’ve completely shifted my world view and woke me up from being a mindless soldier, but we both said some hurtful things…” He sighed deeply and leaned forward to touch his forehead to Qrow’s. “Even with all of that, I want to be as close to you as I can. You were my anchor to reality when I was brought back, my partner who gave me hope that we would succeed just by being there with me.” His smile crumbled into a grimace, “To be honest, I’m kind of afraid of what will happen if we part ways tonight” his dry chuckle unsettled Qrow, “I’ll probably go into shock, or have a breakdown or something.”

“Well it’s a good thing that I’m sticking to you then” Qrow said with an air of finality, though his following despair softened his decree, “You don’t know just how devastated I was after you… _died_ . I was so desperate to get you back _whatever it took_ and I think even now, if I’ll get to keep you, I’ll do _anything._ So don’t worry about being selfish. This will be a comfort for me as much as it will be for you.”

Clover’s shaky smile returned, but much to Qrow’s relief, his teal eyes were filled with happiness. “Ok Qrow, thank you.”

The pair said their goodnights to everyone and walked back to Clover’s room hand in hand, as close to each other as possible. The instant they walked over the threshold of his room and closed the door, they were hugging each other tightly. Qrow’s hands snaked under Clover’s arms to grasp his back, cradling his chest. Clover wrapped an arm around Qrow’s shoulders and his waist, tugging him as close to himself as possible. The safety, the normalcy of Clover’s apartment just got to them both right then. Things were alright. _They_ were alright, or… would be.

Qrow was the first to break the silence. “So we… we need to talk about what happened, Clover. Apologies aside, I want to make sure there aren't any lingering feelings of distrust or doubt or… anything else that could hurt us down the line.” He leaned away from Clover’s shoulder to make eye contact, struggling a bit not to get lost in his sea green eyes. “I’m not afraid of my semblance anymore. I’m free to fall headfirst into relationships, and I want to keep the one I started with you, make it into something more. I have so much more to say, but we’re _exhausted_ …”

Clover smiled and ran his fingers through Qrow's hair, making him groan from just how good it felt. “I’m fine with waiting to talk until after we’ve rested. It would be a good idea to have a clear head and feel fresh.” His hand left Qrow’s hair to cup his cheek, “I want to keep you too Qrow. You’ve been such a beacon in my life since you landed in Mantle, and I don’t ever want to fight without you by my side again.”

Their breathes mingled in the space between their lips, noses practically touching. The connection of their lips was unavoidable; it wasn’t heavy or desperate, but languid, soft, and chaste. They slowly started undoing buttons and clasps, sliding each other’s clothes off their bodies and making their way to Clover’s bed. There was nothing sexual about their touches. The intimacy of undressing each other felt right in the moment, keeping contact and being in each other’s space as much as they could. Soon donning pajamas, Clover in a pair of sweatpants and Qrow in a shirt and pants much to Clover’s satisfaction, they fell into bed, simply cuddling close and falling asleep. 

Qrow didn’t notice it then.

* * *

Their next day began at noon. 

Rest was the priority, allowing for sleep to last as long as needed for everyone. The pairs and/or teams could report for duty at their leisure. The long list of tasks to complete in order to get the kingdom to at least a functional state wasn’t going anywhere soon, and was thankfully less about fighting grim and more about distributing supplies.

Qrow woke to a hand running through his hair, a warm arm around his waist, and a steady heartbeat next to his ear. He could’ve stayed like that for the rest of time, but he opened his eyes instead, sending Clover a happy hum. “Morning Cloves. If this is how I’ll wake up everyday from now on, then I’ll stay by your side forever.”

“Heh, good to know that all I’ll have to do is cuddle you and pet your hair.”

“No, all I need is you, Clover.”

After laying in bed for a while longer, holding each other and simply being, they decided it was time. Morning routines happened albeit slower. With more lingering touches. They cared for each other's injuries, freshened up, and made breakfast side by side. 

Eating was quick with their exhaustion for the days before making them ravenous, so their stomachs were full. They could begin. The next few hours were tense, words hitting bluntly and flying like warning shots at each other. Their fight out in the tundra, their roles in the result, and whether they could forgive each other were all laid out for the other to see, to understand. Feelings in the moment aside, they came together in the end. 

Once they calmed down a bit Qrow also explained what happened after he was taken away from Clover. How he shifted wildly through the stages of grief, ready to murder James one minute and prepared to sacrifice himself the next. How, after Watts somehow opened their cells, he immediately bolted to the vault, no one left standing in his war path to James and the relic.

“I didn’t even think about going to find Harbinger. I was prepared to fist fight James to the death… I probably wouldn’t have been able to use my weapon anyways, considering its role in things.”

He didn’t miss the sorrowful look Clover gave him.

“It’s ok though, because we got to the relic, lowered Atlas, and brought you back. You know everything after that.”

More hugs were shared and tears shed that afternoon. They made dinner and curled up on the couch together, but didn’t last more than an hour before they decided to relocate to bed despite it only being about 8pm.

“It’ll be bad for our injuries to sleep on the couch, Birdie.” Clover had reasoned. 

That night they spooned, Clover hugging Qrow to his chest and curling around him. Clover’s steamy breath on the back of his neck and the calming weight of his body around him quickly lulled him to sleep.

Yet again, Qrow was none the wiser.

* * *

The next few days were a whirlwind of activity. Having recovered and worked out their feelings, Qrow and Clover returned to active status as an official pair. The kids, Ace Ops, and Winter also congratulated them on their relationship, saying that it was a long time coming. 

Their missions ranged from traveling down to Mantle to distribute supplies, to helping clear areas of rubble and destruction, and clearing grimm from the city that had somehow avoided detection until now.

He and Clover were like a well oiled machine, working seamlessly against grimm and keeping each other going during long shifts. Their teamwork and togetherness kept up off the clock as well. Making dinner together was a bit clunky at first, but they laughed through it and learned how to work around each other. Balancing their morning routines with who did what when was also something they initially struggled a bit with, but got figured out by the end of the week. Sleeping however, was the easiest thing. From their first night together he and Clover fit like puzzle pieces. Whether they spooned or cuddled chest to chest, they had a restful sleep. 

Getting into bed now, Qrow laid down on his left side. His right rib injury had been aggravated earlier in the day, so he didn’t want to put pressure on it. He had a few minutes before Clover would join him, so he let his mind wonder. He thought about how sleeping beside Clover felt like safety. Not exactly like how he felt before with Clover’s semblance, but a more peaceful, physical safety. Having Clover at his back, or pulling him into his strong chest comforted him in different ways. Though, now that he thought about it… 

_‘Huh… have we always done that?... Yea we- I guess we have. And he hasn’t been the- not that I’m bothered by it or anything.’_

Even so, did it mean anything? Maybe it was just one of Clover’s quirks, like any person had. Hell, he’d slept in trees for such an extended period once that it took him almost as long to stop after his mission was over! Tai had just scratched his head and the girls wanted him to make a treehouse so they could _“sleep in the trees too!”_

He chuckled quietly at the memory. _‘I don’t know why I’m worried. It must just be left over unease from the battle. If it keeps up maybe I can-’_

His thoughts were interrupted by Clover sliding into bed behind him, his arm snaking around his waist and hand coming up to rest on his heart.

Qrow slipped into sleep just as easily as he had all that week.

On the third night, he had finally noticed... Clover only ever slept on his side.

* * *

Qrow didn’t think about his benign discovery anymore beyond that night. It wasn’t something that affected their lives in any way, so he chalked it up to being just how Clover slept. He forgot about it after a while.

However, his observation of Clover didn’t end with that. 

On another supply mission Qrow noticed something a bit odd.

To his credit, he looked at Clover a lot. He would freely admit to that, but those looks usually focused on protecting him during battle and appreciating his physique and cute smile. This was different. Having worked with Clover for months before, he was sure… getting a heavy clap to the back of his shoulder had never made him flinch. 

Now that in itself wasn’t strange, as he understood very well how sore they all still were.

No, it became strange when similar behavior popped up in other ways.

Stiffening when he accidentally backed into a wall, jumping up or rolling over way too quickly after getting knocked back to the ground… He even got antsy when Qrow would still his hands on Clover’s back when he gave him a massage. 

_‘Is something wrong with Clover’s back? It can’t be hurting still.. It's been a little over two weeks since that night.’_

He was starting to get worried, especially since Clover hadn’t come to him about any of this… Maybe he just hadn’t noticed himself? That his reactions were subconscious? 

_‘Whatever the case is, I’ll have to ask him tonight.’_

* * *

Just as he told himself he would, Qrow gently brought up Clover’s behavior since the battle.

Clover kissed him as they laid in bed on their sides. They kept things slow and lazy as usual, not having considered going further quite yet. His hands were firmly planted on Clover's naked pecs as his waist was caught in Clover’s strong grip up under his nightshirt. He suddenly felt a surge of something strong from in his chest, and leaned into Clover. Instead of Clover going with his unspoken request of lying him flat, he pushed him onto _his_ back, interlocking a hand with his and tilting his head with the other.

“ _Mmm_ Clover- _mph_ ” he tried, failing to get his partner's attention. Clover had stopped him from pushing him on his back, and Qrow needed answers, make out be damned. Luckily, Clover released his lips and moved on, kissing along his chin and down his neck as he caught his breath. 

“ _Clover._ ” he panted, trying not to be distracted by the kisses traveling down his throat. 

A hum against his skin made that harder.

“Clover stop for a second, p-please.”

The man over him instantly pulled back. Qrow almost felt bad for how concerned Clover looked, almost like he thought he had physically hurt him.

“Are you ok Qrow? What's going on?” Clover even went as far as to release his wrist, get off him and pull him up to sit beside him.

“Clover calm down, you didn’t hurt me or anything. I just… you did something that reminded me of another something that I’ve been thinking about recently- if that makes sense?”

“...Can you explain it to me?”

Qrow decided not to skirt around the issue. “A few minutes ago when I tried leaning into and pushing you onto your back, you pushed back and pinned _me_. I haven’t questioned it, but you’ve never wanted to sleep on your back, and I’ve noticed little moments where you flinch and look panicked when your back is touched at all. I don’t know why that's happening. I don’t know if you’ve known, or if it's not something you realize you’re doing…” He trailed off, giving Clover the chance to respond to him. 

Much to his concern, Clover wasn’t looking at him. His shoulders were turned _away_ from him. 

“Cloves?-”

“Can we not talk about this?” 

His response was short and void of the lovingly flirty tone he usually had before bed. It almost _hurt_ hearing his partner speak that way, so closed off and avoidant.

Qrow didn’t quite know how to respond to that. He didn’t want to leave this alone though, he wanted to help Clover- so he tried again.

“I… I only want to know what's wrong.” he started as gently as he could. His voice was almost a whisper. “I don’t like that this is happening to you, and if you tell me what's going on, I might be able to help you with it.”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“What?...”

“I said you _wouldn’t understand Qrow_.” he sighed loudly, ”I’m going to bed.” He rolled away from Qrow onto his side and that was that. 

Qrow couldn’t process what just happened. Clover… didn’t want to talk to him? Clover thought just because he wouldn’t understand, that he couldn’t help? Qrow clutched his chest as he felt it tighten, eyes wide as he silently laid down on the bed on top of their comforter. He just stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours trying to wrap his head around what Clover could be thinking before finally drifting to sleep... 

* * *

Suddenly Qrow opened his eyes not to the pale ceiling of their bedroom, but to the expansive white tundra. Harbinger was nowhere to be found, and Clover was across the tundra from him, yelling something familiar, but not something Qrow could place. 

_“I trust James with my life. I wanted to trust you too!”_

The dread that enveloped him at what he distantly recognized paralyzed him. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t even look away from Clover. He could only wait for whatever it was that his subconscious was screaming at him to stop. 

Minutes passed, but nothing happened, like time had frozen. This was… new? Suddenly he felt anger bubble up from inside at Clover’s betrayal, his choosing James over him. For some reason he _knew_ it was irrational, but he couldn’t help but shout-

“Oh you wanted to trust me?? Is that why you _stabbed_ me in the BACK!-”

His chest jerked forward suddenly. 

He almost didn’t realize what happened until he looked down, seeing the end of Harbinger protruding from his chest covered in blood. As his weapon was harshly jerked out of his body, he made eye contact with a horrified Clover before slumping to the ground.

He hardly felt pain, the shock of receiving such a huge injury overriding anything he would’ve felt as he laid there on his back. His only thoughts were of the family he’d leave behind, the mission he would never finish, and the man he would never get the chance to voice his love to. He felt sheer terror and hopelessness lying there on his back, heartbeat slowing, bleeding out like... like Clover had…? 

Just before his sight faded he saw Clover leaning over him calling his name.

* * *

Qrow woke with a gasp, breathing heavily. He was back in their bedroom, illuminated only by the moonlight streaking through their window. Clover was still hovering over him, calling his name like he had in the dream. 

“Qrow??? Qrow are you ok? Listen you were having a nightmare, but you’ll be alri-”

Qrow shot up and hugged him tightly. His chest heaved to fill his lungs with air and his body shook hard. Reality didn’t quite set in again until Clover hugged him back. Not enough to restrict his breathing, but enough to ground him. They sat there a moment, not saying a word but simply giving and receiving comfort, when Qrow finally connected the dots.

"Clover... I’m- I’m _sorry._ ” He said it into Clover’s shoulder with a sad, weary smile, his voice cloaked in sympathy. “I know why you don't want to sleep on your back anymore." 

Clover took hold of his shoulders and pulled him away. Qrow could see the realization dawn on Clover's face. That Qrow _knew_ now. That his nightmare had told him the answer.

Still, apparently he wanted to be sure. "And why do you say that?" he asked warily. He didn't look _quite_ defensive… no, Clover wasn't worried about him knowing. Clover was worried about exactly how he came to the conclusion that he did. 

"Because… in my nightmare it was _that_ morning. That awful dawn except- it wasn't your luck that ran out." At Clover's shocked and appalled expression he continued, "I was stabbed instead. I was the one to fall, onto my back like you had. I-It was… _terrifying_ just lying there. Feeling the blood run out of you, your vision fade. It felt like the gravity was pulling me into the ground, taking the air from my lungs! Those feelings, they were so visceral even in that dream, that _nightmare_ ." He finally looked back at his partner, who looked like he was about to cry, having realized that Qrow didn't just know the reasons he had been averse, he knew intimately, _why._

Clover surged forward, curling Qrow into himself. His voice cracked with a harsh sob as he apologized, sympathizing that he had to experience that helplessness. _"I'm so sorry, Qrow."_

"You don’t have anything to apologize for Cloves. You were justifiably terrified and not ready to open up about it. My nightmare wasn’t caused by you either, just my own thoughts. Either way, I'm not exactly unhappy having dreamt that."

Clover stilled in surprise and disbelief. "What? But… Qrow that- _why?"_

"Because that nightmare wasn't real. I don't have a physical scar, nor am I dead. The feelings I experienced were real though, _very much real_ and they served to help me understand you. You don't want to sleep on your back because it'll take you right back to the tundra. To where you _died_. While that understanding won't heal you on it's own, it will help me to help you work through and recover from that trauma." He cupped Clover's cheek, wiping away a few stray tears that fell, one twinkling in the moonlight. 

Clover covered his hand with his and touched their foreheads together gently. He let out a wet chuckle, not quite a sob. An improvement.

"How can you of all people put a positive spin on this?"

"Because I learned not to see my semblance as a burden or a curse, and because I got you back. I'm in bed with a handsome, kind man who loves me for me, and I couldn't be happier. By going through the same trauma you did, albeit in a dream, I can understand you better. Recovering and moving on from that morning? It's just another thing we can do together."

Qrow squeezed the arm Clover had around him. “Now then, there’s something I want to try out.” He shimmied out of his arms and laid back down on the bed, on his back, holding his arms open for Clover. “Come on Cloves, I’ll be your pillow tonight.”

A little bit of blush fluttered across his partner's face before he laid down to join him under the covers. “Are you sure about this Birdie?” he asked in worry.

“Positive.” said Qrow. “After all, I’ve got you don’t I?”

Clover smiled and left a chaste kiss on his lips. “You do.” He settled down, one hand on Qrow’s heart, the other under his waist. 

Qrow knew he wouldn’t have any more nightmares even if they hadn’t worked through this yet. They would eventually, but only because they had each other.


End file.
